Mandatory Retirement Essay

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Media Violence - IELTS - Task 2 | teenagers have jobs while they are students. Do you think this is a good idea?why

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#1 (permalink) Thu May 01, 2014 14:03 pm   Mandatory retirement - IELTS Task 2 

Hi Luschen, could you check my IELTS essay task 2?

Topic: Mandatory retirement should be suspended or not?

People have different views about whether workers are obliged to retire at a certain age. While there are many convincing arguments in favour of mandatory retirement, I would have to support the idea that mandatory retirement should be vary.

It is true that senior workers should retire. Firstly, the elderly is not suitable to continue their participation in the workforce in some circumstances. For example, blue collar jobs often require workers a lot of strength to endure the strain and stress. Meanwhile, senior citizens no longer possess physical and mental abilities which are fitted for the tasks. Secondly, retiring old people creates more space for younger generation who has more energy. Finally, after passing through a strenuous work routine, senior employees deserve a chance to relax.

However, retiring the old has some drawback. The main issue is that by ceasing employment with senior employees, businesses would lose valuable human resources. It is undeniable that workers, who spent with ups and downs in their working areas, are more experienced and skillful. Therefore, they have abilities to deal with unexpected situations. Another disadvantage is that mandatory retirement may have some adverse effects on company’s budget. Well-experienced workers play a role as an instructor and a trainer for new employees. If people retire at the early age, the company would lose its instructors who could inspire and guide newcomers, and they have to spend money hiring other suitable trainers. Senior workers, who still have energy, can contribute to our society.

In conclusion, I would argue that retirement should base on workers’ performance in the job as well as their willing.

TOEFL listening discussions: What will the student probably do with her next paper?
Trangpg
I'm new here and I like it ;-)


Joined: 10 Jun 2010
Posts: 48

#2 (permalink) Tue May 06, 2014 14:10 pm   Mandatory retirement - IELTS Task 2 

Hi Luschen. Could you check this IELTS essay for me? Thank you very much
Trangpg
I'm new here and I like it ;-)


Joined: 10 Jun 2010
Posts: 48

#3 (permalink) Thu May 08, 2014 13:48 pm   Re: Mandatory retirement - IELTS Task 2 

Hi, pretty good effort here, though I think changing the sentences I have commented on would make your essay sound more clear and natural.

Trangpg wrote:
Hi Luschen, could you check my IELTS essay task 2?

Topic: Mandatory retirement should be suspended or not?

People have different views about whether workers [should be] {the "are" really changes the meaning of the sentence} obliged to retire at a certain age. While there are many convincing arguments in favour of mandatory retirement, I would have to support the idea that mandatory retirement should vary. {this could be made less vague - what about it should vary?}

It is true that senior workers should retire [at some point].{senior does not work that well - senior here just means they have worked for their company a long time} Firstly, the elderly [are] not suitable to continue their participation in the workforce in some circumstances. For example, blue collar jobs often require [from] workers a lot {or "require workers to have a lot …"} of strength to endure the strain and stress. {these sound more mental then physical - maybe say "to endure the physical exertion required to perform their duties} Meanwhile, senior citizens no longer possess physical and mental abilities which are fitted for the tasks. Secondly, retiring old people [ create] more space for [the] younger generation who has more energy. Finally, after passing through a strenuous work routine, senior employees deserve a chance to relax.

However, retiring {this sounds odd when talking about people, people choose to retire, you don't retire someone, although we do talk about retiring racehorses or old ships} the old{"elderly" is much more polite} has some drawback[s ]. The main issue is that by ceasing employment [of] senior employees, businesses would lose valuable human resources. It is undeniable that workers, who spent [time dealing with ups/ time encountering ups] and downs in their working areas, are more experienced and skillful. Therefore, they have abilities to deal with unexpected situations. Another disadvantage is that mandatory retirement may have some adverse effects on [a] company’s budget. Well-experienced workers play a role as an instructor and a trainer for new employees. If people retire at [an] early age, the company would lose its instructors who could inspire and guide newcomers, and they [would] have to spend money hiring other suitable trainers. Senior workers, who still have energy, can contribute to our society.

In conclusion, I would argue that retirement should [be] base[d ] on workers’ performance in the job as well as their willing[ness].

TOEFL listening discussions: What will the student probably do with her next paper?
Luschen
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Joined: 08 Apr 2011
Posts: 8638
Location: Nashville TN, USA
Media Violence - IELTS - Task 2 | teenagers have jobs while they are students. Do you think this is a good idea?why

 
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Abolish Mandatory Retirement Age


Introduction

After several decades of falling, the mean retirement age has risen in OECD countries over the last one and a half decades. Researchers argue that extending working lives is a significant element in the quest to overcome the challenges of an ageing population. This process may involve removing the incentives inherent in pension schemes that encourage people to retire early. Similarly, disincentives and barriers for those who wish to extend their working lives should be removed. This paper presents arguments that in favor of the abolishment of mandatory retirement age.

There are several reasons why the mandatory retirement age should be abolished. First, allowing older staff to work would encourage a far-reaching approach to issues like flexibility, performance and enhancing occupational health. This is because workers above the age of 65 need closer attention and flexibility in their work schedules. Occupational health issues such as ergonomics and safety also need to be improved if an older workforce is to be maintained. This has the advantage of influencing long-term improvement of workplaces. Secondly, workers close to the retirement age usually have a wealth of experience and are dedicated to their work. In addition, many of the would-be retirees do not have much in pensions to sustain them comfortably for the remainder of their lives. This has been occasioned by decreasing annuity rates over the last few years. This implies that retirees do not have much money to spend. The burgeoning number of retirees will eventually begin to have a negative impact on the economy.

Conclusion

Extending employment for workers beyond the age of 65 is a significant element in the quest to overcome the challenges of an ageing population. This paper asserts that the mandatory retirement age should be abolished and highlights two main points underpinning this statement. First, allowing workers to after they attain 65 years of age is beneficial because it is bound to influence better workplaces. In the process of fulfilling the sensitive needs of the older workers such as settling occupational health and flexibility issues, even the younger workforce will benefit. Secondly, the economy will improve since the burgeoning older population will have enough money to spend. This implies that new approaches will have to be implemented by human resource managers to assess a worker’s suitability to work through means other than on the basis of age.


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